I don't have any strength in me left. The issues that have been bugging me for more than 5 years finally blew on me. At this point I'm gonna turn into a fucking druggie (that is if I don't hang myself first.) I don't want that, I don't want this, I don't want to be like this anymore. I find it hard to breathe. I haven't eaten anything for more than 4 days. I have been nonstop drinking for more than a week. I am drinking right now too. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't even want to be alive. I can't even beg to God. I want to but I just can't. I can't accept him being real. Please help me.