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posted ago by DuxBellorum ago by DuxBellorum +10 / -0

It seems like everything in life is depressing and that sucks. I don't think it's a me problem. Most guys I talk to all feel the same. Some are just more hopeful than others that something will get better in the future and that keeps them going. No one I know seems to actually be enjoying life.

I know "what is our purpose" is so cliche but seriously, what's the point? I don't care about deep philosophical purpose but it seems like there's no actual reward for the effort I put into life.

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YouNeedVPN 10 points ago +10 / -0

By design.

And I'm glad you are noticing this. The sooner you realize your cushy life is worthless, the sooner you may be willing to risk it all to change it.

A fed and entertained populace will never rebel. Bread and circuses.

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DuxBellorum [S] 1 point ago +1 / -0

I find all the wins the same. I'm getting tired of it all. Maybe my previous post was me projecting but 3 years ago when I first truly went down my rabbit hole, I read the Bible, read Dostoevsky, read Evola, read a bunch of esoteric stuff, reread history from different perspectives, science theories. I read tons. More reading than I've ever done in a while because I wanted to understand things. I've kind of hit that point where you've already learned "enough". It's time to write the exam but it appears I've been studying for an exam I'll never take.

I've kind of hit every point there is to hit in my life's journey.

I keep running ideas in my head but I can't start anything because nothing is worthwhile. Nothing has a payoff I care for.

Like the only ideas I have going that seems worthwhile to me is learn in my spare time mechanical engineering to try and research and/or invent some sort of technology that will be beneficial. Next would be to just write my thoughts on life down in case someone else cares about them.

I just feel both are energy drains without much benefit. The first idea is just a hope. I already went through school and spent the better part of 7 years (2 masters) on unrelated subjects. I realized none of my ideas mattered because I don't have the resources to try anything and I feel that's probably going to be the same for mechanical engineering. This isn't the 1800s anymore and I'm not nobility, any idea of mine I want to pursue is going to cost resources I don't have access to. Writing down ideas is likely just going to end up with an unplished bit of work on some blog no one will read.

I'm not dooming, I've just being realistic. Both my ideas are stretches cause I've got nothing else. I don't even want to do these things but what else is there. I already tried doing good things with all the years I've spent studying and got no where.

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DuxBellorum [S] 1 point ago +1 / -0

I agree with you but I'm not sure what to do.

I have a best friend I've been friends with for 15 years I talk to almost daily. We're like minded in almost all things but what can either of us do?

I have family that I talk to weekly but unfortunately, none of them agree with me in anything. We're basically polar opposites. I actually struggle to maintain a relationship with them because I don't really care about them outside of the fact they are my family and they don't really care about me outside of that fact also. When I try to open up to them about life they don't understand. I occasionally visit but that's about it.

I have work "friends" that I play sports with but outside of playing sports or talking about work, there's no real connection.

I've tried joining social groups. Was in the Proud Boys for example. Rotary Club. Stuff like that. Outside of going to the events no one was really my friend. I've gone to bars and just sat at the bar and chatted with people. I've made "friends" this way but outside just drinking, there's no real friendship. It's just sitting around drinking and complaining about shit no different than this message board. As soon as someone gets something more interesting going on they flake, just like this message board.

I've gone down the woman path enough times to the point that I have no interest in women. Many men wouldn't even have 1/10th of the experience I've had with women and would be outright shocked if they knew it all. Women can't offer me what I'm interested in from them. It's a no win pursuit.

What seems to be lacking is the feeling of working toward something good or better. Like imagine you were a poor person who met another poor person, you became friends and you guys made plans to stop being poor but to do this you both had to pool whatever savings you had together to be able to pay to go to school. The catch is you could only afford to put one of you two through school so one of you sacrifices for the other, the other goes to school and despite the struggle has to succeed because of his friend's sacrifice. He gets through it, gets a good job and devotes the next few years toward improving his friend's life. He gets enough capital and helps his friend start a business. This is the sort of quest I feel is worth it.

There's just no element of working together with someone for the betterment of the community or at the very least for the betterment of a friend.

Our society seems to have nothing worthwhile going on.

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DuxBellorum [S] 1 point ago +1 / -0

People have referred to me as a "social butterfly" before and my job is literally socializing. I've been referred to as a chameleon multiple times by people who know me well because I can fit into all sorts of groups.

I can one minute be out drinking with some guys in Nazi tattoos wearing Nazi gear talking about how great Hitler is and how evil Jews are to a room full of leftist faggots and feminists debating with them how we live in a degenerate matriarchal society in which women are unjustly elevated, men are oppressed and LGBTQ+ doesn't add any value to the improvement of society.

I've sat around groups of black people and told them straight to their face that they should pay white people reparations because they're lucky they weren't slaughtered by my ancestors and now they've enjoyed a high standard of living for the fact we kept them around. And while the whites sitting around are tripping over their feet to defend the blacks, the black people agree with me.

I can be out fishing with the most rural small town guys imaginable listening to country and drinking beers by the campfire then hang out the next day at the fanciest steakhouse in the city with a group of affluent guys who all earn 7 figures without missing a beat.

I'm about as social as it gets. I never say no to a social outing.

The problem though is a lack of care. Nothing I think matters. Nothing I say truly has an impact, even though I have a way with words. I've had multiple people tell me before that the conversations they have with me are some of the most "real" conversations they've ever had. I have a way of getting passed the weather and actually talking about what people truly care to talk about (helps with my job).

It just feels tiresome. Instead of talking about how things ought to be. Instead of explaining to people the way things actually are. I just want to do something that leads to a good result.

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DuxBellorum [S] 1 point ago +1 / -0

I feel like the community is shifting because people are getting bored, like I am. Once you figure out Hitler was a good guy, that Jews are the bad guy and the only way to truly fix our problems is through a movement like the National Socialist movement in Germany, you can post memes about it all you want, call out the Jews all you want but then what? Read books all you want, gather all info you want but then what?

Nothing is actually getting done. Nothing is changing. People get bored then move onto something else. A lot of the serious right-wing people are on Gab now over this community. There was some movement there. Unless you're going to raise an army, there's not much anyone can do. Talk is cheap.

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crash7863 2 points ago +2 / -0

We are organizing though. They're actively shitting themselves over people like us organizing. What do you think that panic attack over the Patriot Front is about? That's a nationalist organization doing displays of force, peacefully.

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DuxBellorum [S] 1 point ago +1 / -0

So now that I've reached self-realization do I just commit suicide already?

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DuxBellorum [S] 1 point ago +1 / -0

For me, there's no difference. I've completed my journey on this life already. Self-actualized. Now what?

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DuxBellorum [S] 1 point ago +1 / -0

Already done.

Also, let's actually analyze your point.

I am the author. Okay great. Here's my story (it's short, don't worry):

Dux wokeup, ate food and then did some things. The more Dux did things the better he got at them. Then Dux went to bed. Dux wokeup and did it all over again.

Do you know what almost all good stories have? Conflict/challenge, hope, adventure, the prospect of something good. Imagine a story without some sort of obstacle to overcome. Like imagine the movie Aliens except instead of in a spaceship, you're sitting in a coffee shop drinking a coffee. Instead of having a crew, you have some Barista that asks you for a vaccine passport. When you try to make conversation with her, she smiles, laughs and just nods her head so she can escape the conversation as quickly as possible, contributing absolutely nothing of meaning. Then, there are no aliens. You just sit there the whole movie. Then the movie ends. Would you watch that movie? Modern art? Super deep? There is no story here. I could stare at a wall for 16 hours a day then sleep for the other 8 and that would be equivalent to my life. Imagine the Truman Show except instead of Truman figuring out it was all fake, he never does, the movie never alludes to it. He just rides his bike, goes to work, says hi to his neighbors, makes small talk, then does it all over again for a few hours. Then the movie ends.

There's no story here. There's nothing to author. There's no narrative.

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DuxBellorum [S] 1 point ago +1 / -0

If I had complete freedom, I would likely start killing all my enemies, amass a harem of beautiful women, enslave my enemies and get them to build fancy monuments in my honour while conducting scientific experiments to improve weapons technology and space travel.

Yes, I am literally the bad guy. I don't find joy in anything most people would consider to be "good".

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Enochianist 2 points ago +2 / -0

This entire world we live in is a test.

What is the meaning of life? To pass trials given to you by God.

It takes spiritual maturity to know this. It might seem to be all doom and gloom right now, but that is the point of this world; greatness doesn't come without trials and tribulations.

Don't expect immediate rewards. Your trial is not over, yet. Key word being yet. It might seem endless, but isn't that the point? The greater the reward is put off, the more grateful you'll be when you eventually receive it.

But the fact that you recognize that everything in our life controlled by kikes is depressing is a very, very good sign. You're not only mentally aware of this, but spiritually aware of this. The majority of people throughout history will never acknowledge this and will continue to be useful idiots for kikes. Panem et circenses, in perpetuum.

Only the spiritually aware will reject being in the position of a useful idiot and carve their own destiny. Only those people will leave their permanent mark on history. The fact that you recognize the severity and the gravity of the situation you're in is only the first step in carving your destiny.

So, keep fighting. It might seem like an unwinnable fight, an unbeatable war, but, know this; there were always be light in the darkness and diamonds in the rough. Be the light in the darkness and the diamond in the rough. The trial is not over, so pass it, you WILL be rewarded, that much is certain.

And once all of our trials are over, and once all of our sleeping brethren wake up, it will be the greatest thing you will ever see. So, don't fret; you're only on the tip of the iceberg.

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DuxBellorum [S] 1 point ago +1 / -0

Honestly, this seems like something a slave-master would say to his slave to keep his slave productive.

Don't worry, nothing you do is meant to be rewarding but keep trying as hard as you can because when you die, you'll be rewarded for it in the end. This is all just a test so keep working hard and it'll be worth it. Alah promises you 99 virgins if you die for the cause...

These are the lies fed to us to keep us productive.

There are those in this world who are getting what they want. If this was a test, these people would also be suffering.

No the simple fact is that we are suffering while others are not and this is not a test. This is reality. Denying reality and hoping this will be better is nothing but a pathetic cope.

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Enochianist 1 point ago +1 / -0

No the simple fact is that we are suffering while others are not and this is not a test. This is reality.

Yes. The suffering is the test and the test is the reality of the situation.

These are the lies fed to us to keep us productive.

Do you want to do nothing in your life? Would you be comfortable having achieved nothing? You can be productive in your life and not be their slave. Your name in Latin means Leader/Duke of the Wars, so what, do you want to be the leader of video game wars and do nothing in your life?

And you mask how you can be productive by not benefiting them... It is simple. Exercise. Exercise mentally, physically, and spiritually. Read scripture, train your body and mind. Reject kikery. Be the living embodiment of everything kikes fear, a strong, spiritually awakened, intellectual white man.

But are you seriously going to spew forth divisive drivel comparing the mindet that you can improve in spite of all of the challenges thrown at you is the same as the false religion of islam? Are you seriously going to say that constantly improving yourself spiritually, physically, and mentally is equal to raping poor innocent goats, incest, and pedophilia, and a whole other slew of degeneracy promoted by that false religion?

And another thing with this post that promotes nihilism and even out-right atheism which is just nihilism taken to the utmost extreme is when you said that there will be no reward when one dies. What next, are you going to say there is no God and that there is no Heaven?

You seem to be the real coper here, you've ingratiated yourself so deeply into doomerism to the point that you literally think that there will be no reward for being a pious and productive man. If you believe I am a slave-master trying to keep a slave productive, go on then, do nothing and keep doing nothing. I'm sure that things will magically get better without anything done to stop jewry.

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DuxBellorum [S] 1 point ago +1 / -0

As soon as someone is willing to stop the Jewry in this world, sign me up. In the words of Joseph Goebbels, yes that Goebbels:

I'm so despondent about everything. Everything I try goes totally wrong. There's no escape from this hole here. I feel drained. So far, I still haven't found a real purpose in life. Sometimes, I'm afraid to get out of bed in the morning. There's nothing to get up for.

He wrote that before he met Hitler and the NatSoc movement took off. How he feels is how I feel.

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Enochianist 0 points ago +0 / -0

A revival of that very movement is definitely taking place and this very forum is a key example. More and more sleeping brethren are waking up... It is a matter of when, and this when is determined by how many more are needed to wake up.

And that threshold is slowly but surely being reached. 5 years ago I was a MAGA Republican, and 2-3 years prior I was a pro-Obama Democrat. Keep in mind I am only 16.

If I can get myself out of the ensnarement of the globohomo uniparty, imagine how many more people not only in America, but imagine how many people are transitioning themselves out of that kikish ensnarement. Imagine how many people right now are in yours and Goebbels' situation.

It is not helpless.

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DuxBellorum [S] 1 point ago +1 / -0

But it was hopeless until it wasn't. You're also at a different stage of life than me or Goebbels were in.

Men have a sort of "ramp-up". In your teenage to young adult years, you're motivated to achieve as much as you can. Those are your warring and conquest years. The years a male lion leaves the pride and starts his own pride. It's a time to show your strength and make your impact on society. You want to improve, you have hope and you're willing to try as hard as you can.

Eventually though, as you get older, you know the boundaries of your territory. You've run into other make lions you couldn't conquer. You know your limits. You know your place within the rest of the jungle. It's no longer a time to expand your empire but it's a time to manage it and enjoy it. To raise kids, start a family, protect what you've accomplished etc...

I'm at the second stage except there is no pride, no territory, nothing of values gained and there never will be. By the time a war breaks out, I won't even be able to fight in it because my body won't be able to handle it. I'll have to rely on you or your children to fight it. But that's best case scenario. For the time, I'm just existing until there is a reason to live for.

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Enochianist 0 points ago +0 / -0

Understandable.

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BeefyBelisarius 1 point ago +1 / -0

I'm sure the season doesn't help. Seasonal depression seems to be a really White problem; I once saw an interesting theory that moping around till planting season helped our ancestors conserve energy and resources to survive frigid European winters. In any case, I expect this place to perk up in springtime.

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DuxBellorum [S] 2 points ago +2 / -0

Nah, that has been an ongoing problem for years. I've tried to ignore it but as more time goes on, it gets harder. It's like I'm in the backseat in a car ride to some destination far away and I'm getting bored. I don't know how much longer I can sit back here and do nothing.