posted ago by cornsyrupconsumer ago by cornsyrupconsumer +109 / -3

I started smoking when I was 14, I smoked multiple times per day for 10 years. I have taken maybe 5 breaks, ranging from 3 months to 1 year. The first 3-4 years, it seemed harmless. Sure, my memory wasn't as sharp but it was still fun.

After I turned 18, I started realizing I was over-staying my visit. It was no longer a social activity, I started preferring to smoke alone. I started feeling more distant and melancholy, where weed would only give me temporary relief from these feelings. I also started to realize that it was preventing me from reaching my potential, which bothered me. I was still able to graduate college, and more or less live a normal life. Deep down I always knew that I wanted to leave a mark on this world, and it bothered me that I wasn't on the trajectory to do that.

Fast forward to 110 days ago, I took on NoFap. NoFap gave me more motivation, increased my libido, and even made my vision more clear. It made my emotions much stronger and as time went on, smoking became very anxiety inducing. I would smoke half as much as before and feel way higher, but I would feel a deep sense of dread. I knew it was time to stop.

74 days ago, I stopped smoking weed. I didn't have many physical withdrawal symptoms, the first few weeks were smooth. I felt great about myself, on top of the world. However, Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms (PAWS) started to set in around the 1 month mark. The symptoms include (for me): anhedonia (lack of joy), brain fog, lack of concentration, lack of will-power, and generally feeling melancholy. These symptoms come in waves, and the waves get less intense as time goes on. I am still experiencing these waves today, and I expect that I will experience them for 1-2 years due to my usage at an early age.

This year is going to be a year of recovery for me, and I am okay with that. I am paying back the "loans" I was taking out for so long. It will take a while for my brain chemicals to rebalance, in the meantime I will do everything I can to speed up that process. This means working out, meditating, socializing, creative work, career work, hobbies, journaling, keeping a clean diet, getting good sleep, keeping a to-do list, etc.

Never touch this drug Kings, it seems so harmless at first but the negative effects really sneak up on you.

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Take_This_Torch 4 points ago +4 / -0

It’ll stay bright too if you just have faith that you can make it bright. I’ve seen what drugs do to people, my mother was a rehab nurse for a bit. The strength you display by doing this is admirable.

cornsyrupconsumer [S] 6 points ago +6 / -0

I appreciate your support, I will make it bright! I have already noticed myself belly laughing and experiencing glimpses of joy here and there, which is a great sign I am getting back to my old self. Although my recovery isn't as dramatic as hard drug recovery (that your mom probably witnessed), it still poses some unique challenges.