posted ago by drjillsusedscrunchie ago by drjillsusedscrunchie +24 / -3

Kind of gay, but in light of some personal development I've done because of this board, I'd like to offer my thoughts.

This year,  I've been overwhelmed with a lot of misfortunes. To summarize, since February the following has occurred: I've been sick, my wife had covid (not so bad, more like allergies and I got a month long vacation over it), and then had surgery to treat a very painful medical condition. My grandmother died, and Grandpa (from the ama) has been quarantined in his facility due to covid. He actually cried when he saw me the day we did the AMA, which I left out at the time. We've had to clean out over 60 years worth of life from their house and sell it, which was a lesson in materialism in and of itself. My car was totalled by a drunk driver and is a total loss. This would be ok, because we were miraculously unhurt and I hated that car, plus we got more money for it than it was worth, but we're down to one car, which is older and on its last leg. This past week has been the worst. Our house flooded and there's damage to be fixed. Multiple locations I manage at work kept having crisis after crisis. My parents, the only family I still talk to, completely let us down. Then, this past weekend. We went out as family and came home to find one of the two dogs we raised from a puppy had died from a freak accident. It's hard to type that because I pride myself on taking good care of my dogs and I feel overwhelming guilt. I even tried to give her cpr, even tho I knew it was too late. Throughout all the misfortunes, things had always worked out for the best, and I still don't feel like I'm being punished, but this was the one thing that really made me question if we were cursed. I've been having some literal ptsd, which has caught me off guard, because I've never had it, even after being both physically and sexually abused (the latter was a teenage girl when I was 6), being falsely arrested and accused of murder in an interrogation room as a teenager, and having experienced lots of traumatic deaths.

I'm not here to diary post (ok maybe I did a little) or write a country song, but after Gramps kept telling everyone not to get married, I wanted to share that throughout this whole year, my wife and kid (and remaining dog) have been the only reason I've been able to keep going. If all these things had happened to me and they weren't around, I wouldn't be typing this. My wife especially has been the shining example of a tradwife this year, even when she had surgery. She's done nothing but love me, gives me plenty of physical affection with no complaints, takes care of our family when I work long hours and even tends to the spinach bed. When I suggested we trying living by candlelight in the evenings, she enthusiastically participated and even lit candles before I'd get home when I'd work late. She stayed with our daughter by herself for a couple days so I could go see Grandpa, who loves her as well, even tho he doesn't even like women that much. That's not to say that we haven't had our moments of stress, but she's always done her best to support me and our family. She told me the other day that she wished we would never have to be sad again, but that there was no one other than me she'd rather be sad with. Gay, but I thought it was sweet, and it made me happy she felt that way. When I say that women are children, I mean that in the best ways as well, as they can be sweet, and full of love, and sometimes pretty smart too. Jk, sort of. (My wife is, but good luck with that one)

I want to be clear that marriage isn't for everyone, and children even less so.  Personal anecdotes about my tradwife do not negate the experiences of others who have been victimized by former wives/gfs or other females, and are struggling to move past, or those who wish to avoid this experience entirely. I've seen reasonable arguments made by MGTOW, that don't devolve into rebel yells of AWALT. I suppose if this post has to have a message its that, I've had everything material taken from me two or three times over in my life, and even when I've worked to get it all back, my family I made with my wife is still the best thing that's ever happened to me. Considering I met her 3 weeks after I broke up with my cheating whore ex who I dated for 5 years, and who took everything from me, including my savings, material possessions and my self worth, I cringe to think how my life would be different if I hadn't asked her out because I was scared I would get hurt again. The happiest times in my life, have always been when I accepted traditional responsibility. Much like how working outside is much harder than in an office, but is a lot more satisfying too.

I guess my message to the mgtow refugees is, I /others hear what you're saying, but not only do you have your own board to post these things to, the way you have chosen to life your life is not the only valid way, and attempting to recruit others to oppose the natural order of things will not go far on a board whose core message runs in direct opposition to MGTOW in practice (though it shouldnt in theory, which might be a discussion worth having in the comments).

If you got this far thanks for reading, and have blessed day.

Tl;dr- sure MGTOW is cool, but have you ever tried having a functional family? I had to make one myself, took some time but its great.

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TruthDefenseForce 9 points ago +11 / -2

If you didn't have your wife, you'd have got through it all just fine. Wives offer comfort though because that's their job. As soon as your wife isn't comforting, it's time to get out.

The problem with modern society and the role MGTOW serves is that we teach boys to glorify romance. Men perceive romance through a man's superior ability (compared to a woman) and then they mistakenly think women perceive romance in the same way. To a man, romance sounds amazing and it is what all men seek but women do not perceive romance the same way men do. The only reason you think women used to be romantic is because of countless propaganda attempts by men to make women romantic but naturally women are not. Women emulated romance because men wanted that and women were forced into giving men what men wanted because women needed men for money/power. Now that women don't need men anymore due to the way our society is structured, the true nature of women is coming out, which isn't romantic. By teaching boys/men to glorify romance though, in modernity, it leaves boys and then men open to being significantly financially and emotionally exploited by women which happens a lot in modern society. MGTOW is basically the men who've figured this out and are trying to help men.

Men like yourself are basically living a fragile illusion that could crumble at any moment. There are controls within your life that allow what you have to exist but those controls are ultimately extremely weak because of the structure of our society and can fall at any moment.

Almost all men want a family, the problem isn't men but women. Women don't want families in a manner in which is acceptable to men. This means a lot of men will never get a family because a lot of women don't offer families to men on terms that are acceptable to men.

u/RightSideFunding is correct in his responses. Women do not belong in industry or politics and women are property. Women are inferior to men. The trick of equality that modernity has played on men has dramatically impacted the well-being of our society and may very well be one of the root causes of our eventual demise.

drjillsusedscrunchie [S] 1 point ago +1 / -0

I actually would not have gotten thru it just fine- I get cluster headaches during times of stress, and admittedly having my wife is useful during these times. She's not my servant driving Miss Daisy, nor do I feel burdened by her. It's just the way things are. I agree about being comforting, but think a spouse should be emotionally reliable regardless. I should note that I was in a bit of a fog when I wrote this post, so it sounds more sensitive than I'd like. We are both adults who mutually support each other. Even if it's true she's inferior to me (which I don't really think, but accept for the sake of argument) I don't care because it satisfies me to care for her.

I agree romance is a silly concept. Nothing is my post is romantic, to the point I'm almost confused as to where this point came from. Everything my wife did was from a place of traditional responsibility- she didn't go out drinking, wail around doing nothing, or rack up loads of debt on credit cards- all very common things for women to do admittedly. I'm not sobbing like a faggot either, but she certainly hasn't been a burden.

I agree with your conclusion about the fragility of society, and as secure as I am in my marriage, only a fool would pretend that it couldn't all come crashing down in a moment. I openly beg for society to crash, my wife would be even more reliant on me. That being said, anytime I get in my car I could die. My dogs death that I mention in this post could not have been more unexpected. A natural disaster could come thru and take all my physical possessions. Am I to not pursue something, simply because the fear of loss is too great? Hate to say it, but divorce rape (other than the alienation of children, which is life ruining) is not the worst thing that can happen to a man. I've know guys who absolutely did not want families, but I make my arguments based on the argument at hand and logic, and not whataboutism, or anything that sounds like reverse feminism.

A side note, I usually enjoy your takes, even when I disagree, but I'm not sure about this one. Just my opinion. Moreso credit to your other content rather than derision for this comment.