posted ago by mp40 ago by mp40 +51 / -3

So i've done some bad things, said some terrible things not just here but real life recently. Firstly i want to apologise for everything. I want to thank the people who run this site for giving me a last chance, for unbanning me. I was banned several times, the last time permanently, and i think i am one of a very privileged few to be granted an unbanning from those circumstances. I don't know if you remember but i wrote stupid shit here back then. What harm does it do. Quite a lot. But, fortunately for me, i haven't done anything other than say and type stupid shit on the internet. I am willing to apologise and i will always regret the things i have posted here when i was drunk. I will always regret what i have done in real life as a result of my drinking, which is far worse. But all this has only made me realise i need a place i can peg real morals and just realism to. I am not the best out there, however, i believe in better, and what more summons up this site? Hope, strength, and will. That is really what is lacking in this world. All this talk everywhere, but none of hope, strength, and will, the only three things that has kept us going over the many tens of thousands of years. That is what is fracturing things. But i want to pay you all back for this. I think you all know me, and my horrific visualizations i have come up with under the influence. But no matter what i say, in the past, it's all in the past. I will make no promises. Once an alcoholic always an alcoholic. You lot have always helped me when i was there and i want to help you, with this at least. I am here. I am healthy. Going without ever knowing the fate of someone can be hard. Especially hard in this site, because we aren't just anyone. We are all special. If you are here, from your own volition, from your own beliefs, not from a raid, not from an attack, you are one of the few who deserve intelligence and used it. That's what splits us from the rest. That and forgiveness. Forgiveness is everything. But forget all that. I'm here now, with you all. And i am so grateful, because i've never needed it so much. Solidarity can save all. That's what humanity is. If anything, if there's anything i leave you with, it's that i am alive and healthy, and that closure can mean so much.

Comments (22)
sorted by:
TakenusernameA 21 points ago +21 / -0

Just stay off the drink. Water is good for you.

mp40 [S] 13 points ago +13 / -0

To be frank it's really taken a toll on my memory, but i remember you. I cannot remember much, but what i do is regret from the things i put on here. Funny how the brain works, that way, always remembering negatives over positives. Maybe i've just got a bad memory, but it's been really bad since drinking, i think. No matter what, i'd never forget the regret of not giving closure here.

ButMyFeelings 6 points ago +6 / -0

Give yourself reasons not to drink. Exercise every day. Eat green vegetables and meat. Sounds easy enough, you’ve heard it all before. Drinking only provides instant and short lasting gratification. Exercise and healthy diet make you happy for life. I had struggles with alcohol when I was quite a bit younger myself, I know how it is. Stay strong friend.

WesternCarnival 12 points ago +12 / -0

Buddy, some rando internet person wants you to do better. This is the same for me as talking to my passed wife about drinking. Fight the drinking. It will consume and take you, i have seen it. Find God and Jesus. Pray. Pray. Pray. I am glad you have been unbanned, but if this is the place you find your grounding, protect it. Alcoholics relapse, but you must fight, strive, endure, and unfortunately suffer. I have no ill will to those that drink, i have a nightcap as i wind down the day. But we all must be the masters of our choices. We must be the men we want to see in the world. We must be the bedrock that we need. Make amends where you can, full hearted ones. Fix all that you can labor. God Bless and God Speed.

Call_Me_Kaiser 11 points ago +11 / -0

Holy shit your back, I genuinely didn't think I'd seeing you around here again it's good to see you're actually doing kinda alright

deleted 9 points ago +9 / -0
deleted 6 points ago +6 / -0
RightSideFunding 6 points ago +6 / -0

it's nice to have you back, Brother. We are in a long struggle, don't let the day-to-day get to you too much.. You are too important for the cause of our People.

Just continue to struggle, and make gradual progress

2DIsGreaterThan3D 6 points ago +6 / -0

Well I hope you can find support in some form here. And I hope you'll become a positive contributor to this little corner of the internet and that your experiences can be used for learning by others.

MilkPilled 5 points ago +5 / -0

As one alcoholic to another, you need to find and fix the wound causing you to drink. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7V1W967ofA this video helped me understand that a lot of my drinking is running away from suffering; a phenomenon understood as 'effeminacy'.

I still struggle. I struggle because my childhood was torture and the people entrusted to care for me hurt me rather than help me. Now, I isolate myself because it's familar and comfortable. When I isolate myself I drink so as to not let my mind wade into uncomfortable waters. These habits of mine are still wrong, effeminate, and contrary to reason. While my coping mechanism is maybe more understandable because of circumstance, it doesn't make it right or good.

I say this to tell you, you are not alone. The way out is through. You don't have to cry on my shoulder, but you do have to comiserate with another person most likely. I have no idea who you are but I love you man and you can always message me

PepesCovfefe 4 points ago +4 / -0

You don’t mention Christ or The Lord at all.

Are you a Christian?

hog_hunter 4 points ago +4 / -0

Welcome back king.

It was meet that we should make merry, and be glad: for this thy brother was dead, and is alive again; and was lost, and is found.

— Luke 15:32, KJV

Lean 2 points ago +2 / -0

What did you even say lol? Don't sweat it, it's just a forum.

SFAM1A 2 points ago +2 / -0

Fedposting and some other weird stuff

YEETveteran8888 2 points ago +2 / -0

Alcohol is a scourge and I wish you nothing but strength against it. Your choice against it isn't something made once but continuously made the rest of your life. I hope you find the resilience that's innate to your spirit to preserve.

TendieMan 2 points ago +2 / -0

Good to see you back! You have now moved up from my favourite gay britbong alcoholic to 2nd favourite gay britbong. Consider that an achievement.

panama_sucks 1 point ago +1 / -0

lol faggot

ICantREEEE 1 point ago +1 / -0

Get some help, figure out the reasons (emotional, self-esteem, guilt, depression...) talk to therapist or go on meds for a little while. You can't give up on yourself. Trend upward. Fix your mind, body and diet. Watch life get back on track.

MilkPilled 3 points ago +3 / -0

Antidepressants are designed to create mass shooters. Talk to a priest and Catholic therapist in that order

ICantREEEE 1 point ago +1 / -0

I didn't mention any specific medications. There's some medical interventions that can keep you off the bottle.

Unnotable 1 point ago +1 / -0

Welcome back.

I'll be honest I didn't know you got banned just though you left for a bit.

sheputster 1 point ago +1 / -0

Quick rundown please?