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Comments (29)
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Smol_Gobbo 52 points ago +52 / -0

Reminds me of that boondocks scene where they’re trying to exorcise Mr. Stinkmeaner with books

“READ, NIGGA, READ”

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jeffgayzos [S] 34 points ago +34 / -0

Forgot about that. Boondocks might be the closest thing to a black King Of The Hill.

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eagleheart585 6 points ago +6 / -0

Have you ever seen the show Black Jesus?

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samoan62 2 points ago +2 / -0

Black Jesus is pretty funny and surprisingly not as political as Boondocks.

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WhoIsThatMaskedMan 3 points ago +3 / -0

The Boondocks is one of the best shows ever made if you went back and edited out like half of Huey's lines. The show so frequently makes some extremely good points, only to ruin them by passing off all the shitty behavior of ghetto trash as the fault of white people.

I will say that, much like white people, ghetto apologia among black people goes way down with age, becoming virtually nonexistent by 60ish. McGruder probably doesn't fancy himself as Malcolm X 2 nearly as much as he used to. Now he just wishes those damn kids would stop shooting each other.

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VonTyger 3 points ago +3 / -0

"Get yo black ass out of here" after he dropkicks the guy in the chest in the parking lot. One of the best episodes.

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Call_Me_Kaiser 22 points ago +22 / -0

We do a little worshiping

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Ihatefatbitches 20 points ago +20 / -0

You'd face a lesser charge for just Ted Bundy-ing them, these days.

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undecidedmask 20 points ago +20 / -0

That's hilarious lol

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TheWestYearZero 16 points ago +16 / -0

3, 2, 1...will be reported on mass media as a genuine plan.

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TakenusernameA 16 points ago +16 / -0

Good, they should fear our plans to teach women biblical literacy.

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Captain_Raamsley 5 points ago +5 / -0

Based

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deleted 1 point ago +1 / -0
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deleted 15 points ago +15 / -0
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when_we_win_remember 7 points ago +7 / -0

Well, I mean, even if you just read I'm pretty sure they won't be enjoying it.

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epicman56 10 points ago +10 / -0

reporting for duty

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deleted 7 points ago +7 / -0
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TakenusernameA 7 points ago +7 / -0

Probably for the best.

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yeldarb1983 6 points ago +6 / -0

Have you ever actually read the bible cover to cover? It would take a week to read that out loud, and that's without breaks for sleep, food, or toilet.

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Antisemite-I-Guess 3 points ago +3 / -0

Only the NT matters

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yeldarb1983 9 points ago +9 / -0

buddy, I had a month where I had nothing to do but read the bible, eat, and sleep. I barely got out of Numbers, and I read fast.

Now Imagine you're reading out loud to someone trying to interrupt you constantly, screaming for help, and you have to keep moving, because the hotel staff start asking questions.

Even if you start in the New Testement, you might get to revelations after about six months.

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Antisemite-I-Guess 2 points ago +2 / -0

You might be able to do it in a week actually, the New Testament is pretty short

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Terrortot 5 points ago +5 / -0

Read the Bible in a year plans are common. It took me about half an hour of reading a day to finish it in a year. That's about 180 hours, so with sixteen hours of reading a day you could do it in two weeks.

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JimboJunboJango1 1 point ago +1 / -0

I did it in 2 months, 3-5 hours a day

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deleted 1 point ago +2 / -1
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VonTyger 4 points ago +4 / -0

What's the safe word?

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TendieMan 9 points ago +9 / -0

The Lord's Prayer, in full.

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Schizo_Thinker 2 points ago +2 / -0

Other than the potential kidnapping charge this is hilarious.

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Terrortot -1 points ago +1 / -2

Read chapter 23 of Ezekiel. Aholah and Aholibah were some wild sisters -- their lovers jizzed like horses (Ezekiel 23:20).

Song of Solomon is interesting in that it is an explicitly erotic poem. Song of Solomon, 5:5 is particularly notable --

"I rose up to open to my beloved; and my hands dropped with myrrh, and my fingers with sweet-smelling myrhh, upon the handles of the lock."

Smell my finger is a sentiment as old as the Bible.

There are so many double entendres in the whole Song of Solomon that comparing translations is helpful for appreciating the playful nature of the text and the artistry of the double entendres.